RAYR05E / The New Beige

It's amazing how one person doing nothing externally can ruin your day. I'm so sick feel like death... Just arghh one glance... Life is like a marathon to me filled with people that are laughing and gloating holding back cups of water. Sweating and crying

Euro Trains all night burnin' / Escape Velocity

One of my few days off I can't enjoy. Why you ask? ... I could play video games I could screw around on my computer but why should I? I don't deserve it.... Sure I work 6 days a week but doing what... nothing with a real future. Why should I enjoy my day off going to sleep this day away

Bow Queen / Dad

Just want to cry in a corner. So much pressure... Feel trapped.

04AT / 1X ins

Do you ever wonder if anybody would care if you died. People say oh we do... Take away that guilt of ohh its sad he's not with us shit or I knew him I should have done something how many people have tried to hang out with me without me pushing it or just as a tag along or for numbers sake.... I cant name many to be honest. I want to feel wanted at the moment I don't. People make fun of me because of my life and people don't realise how much I try... Am I a bad person for wanting to feel wanted.

I know I'm anxious and down... All I want is a hug and someone to talk to but who will I'm a fucking idiot.

Susser Bobcat / Oh.... And Poor Hector

Tonight I spent my time and energy trying to forget about my life watched dark movies with family hiding tears. Avoiding social life with people who do want to see me. I want someone to talk to but worry whatever I say will be twisted. What ever no one wants to talk to new anyway I'm just a number filler who people console to bring normality then go away.