Makeup / Shutting off is good?

All the emotions fuck I feel like salt in a salt shaker.

Gidvdtibfssdffghjbbvxdddfhjjkodfv

Over thinking and stressed

Hoard / No brackets(yes brackets)

Sigh... wish i wasn't controlled sometimes I wish I could make a scene and emote. People think they have me figured out and they have no idea. Gah fuck emotions and my stupid sadness over dumb shit. I just don't want to think.

They Laugh because I'm STUCK / Edgecrusher

When you have feelings and you don't know what to do and you know you can't talk about them so you walk away and just want to slam your head into a wall. People laugh and are too stupid to get it. FUCK!

The Lost Song Part. 3 / good kid, m.A.A.d. city

Sometimes I feel I'm hiding and that my true self may horrify people along with myself. It's amazing how hard it is to be yourself people say just be yourself... I wish it was that easy I really do.

Get Ready - Reggie Watts

Heartbeat / Approach

A friend asked me tonight "What's going on?" and I say what I always say "nothing" obviously wanting to talk about me and cares how things are. Truth is I've stopped trying to look for love, relationships, sex and the rest things seem to complicated nor do I have anything on the horizon.

Looking forward to this sooo sooo much

In Loving Memory

RIP Nanna Carter. You were a lovely woman my thoughts go to all their direct family to Jim, Cassandra, Jamie, Sam, Al and of course all who knew this amazing person. You will be missed dearly. All ended as such a shock. My sisters miss you so much.

Fire Volume / King Push / Jesse Exile

I wish I was distracted and not worry about what people think of me. Feel alone like I ruin things with my behavior and anxieties. I feel like a simple goal for most is near and far for me. I tend to have the lowest of the low self esteem. Wishing I was normal or at least feel normal. Instead I'll lie in bed and have a panic attack triggered by me over thinking and analyzing. Woo!

Plenary Solo / Turkey Rolls

Sometimes get so anxious I question whether I should say or do so I stay quiet and do nothing.

Nightcall (Kavinsky feat. LoveFoxx Cover) - London Grammar - If You Wait

Concierge / Lobby Boy

Often I wish I could relate.

Brett / Matsuda (One Job) / Wax Of Feather Wings

Wishing I could be normal. Wishing circumstance, choice, "just being" wasn't in play. No choice anyway.

Do You Know The Waysofar / Sequence Arpeggio Lighting

Questions I don't want to answer truthfully nor will I?

• How was your week?
• What did you get up to?
• So what are you doing right now?

All normal questions I just don't want be honest about it granted I don't think many people genuinely like answering these questions either from my experiences with people so I guess I'm in the same boat. This isn't about one person for anyone reading this I don't want people reading this to think I'm targeting them or anything like that.

Racer - Giorgio Moroder - Racer: A Chrome Experiment

Strunk / un dernier combat / Sierra Leone

STOP THINKING!!! gah can't I just relax to stupid shit like a video game without over thinking...

Jizzlober - Faith No More - Angel Dust

Insight / Untrue / Glacier[3] / Balls To The Wall (Pillow Fight Mix)

Thoughts, processes all circles to do with different issues, identity, discrimination, arguments. All running through my head at night creating balance can be hard in life. Especially in terms of control and curiosity. Moving from a standstill can be a problem. Fighting the big fight is something I'm passionate about changing and challenging views is something I enjoy especially seeing changes and creating positive thoughts in the world and others it slowly makes things better. I'm wondering if I feel as though I'm at a "standstill" because I know nothing else or because of the worth I have felt to the point of anxiety or distress in loss of the past or me not enjoying the step forward. I know whoever reads this must think I'm a mess... I am a bit it was written with that intention and that confusion.

Born In Winter - Gojira - L'Enfant Sauvage

Dominique / 3rd Tier Can't Kick Me

For the past 2 months my perceptions have changed about identity. Thanks to drastic change and 3 people who have no idea what they have done to change my life. But I thank them I may have crawled back to the old occupation but that's ok my ideals and perceptions of that has changed to along with unintended hard love where I took the fall.

Wondering / New Silence

Gah..... thoughts, choices, consequences, complication, ups and downs I guess that's life. Everyone has an opinion of where I should be at or have done, I can't just be. Words and a "feeling" can rule a mind when you want it finished.

Beta Male / Clog

I wish a friend would stop being mad and talk to me I miss conversations and dumb jokes. Being the fall guy sucks... 3 weeks and still hating sigh...

Supererogation / Money Folder / Anything But Love

Solve money problem but hurt a friend whatever choice i make i hurt someone I hope they are OK I didn't mean for it to go down like this.

 (Its Cloudy Now) עכשיו מעונן - Aviv Gefen