Hoping things are Well

I wanna wish Happy Birthday to someone I know its a big day for them. Hope it was amazing.

Aghhhhhhren / Gin & Lone

My obsessive nature can cause problems fuck... How do others not do these things why does anxiety creep in and tell me I'm that fucking idiot.

Carl Casper / "I'm singing a Lionel Richie song" / "One Shot Latte"

A friend would be nice or someone to talk to. Why be honest... Why be vulnerable... Why try with people. Me isn't wanted by people don't mind the fake me but that's just it. The ones that know like the novelty or probably use it to make themselves feel like better people to themselves. People avoid me even after a night of shenanigans. I feel alienated but let's be honest no one else cares but myself which some would say that's all that matters. I just wouldn't mind if anyone would just ask if I'm OK...

I know I have flaws... Maybe at times I'm overbearing, or a bit of a doormat, or I try to satisfy everyone which never works. My friends over the years have become my family not for any reason or anything towards my actual family who I love in my own way. I love them some have disagreements, hate each other, have screwed one another over, don't know each other, some are just different.
I'm not writing this for any reason other than letting friends know I think about them.

This post along with every other post is scattered. Most nights I worry the world will crumble around me and my mediocre life will get worse. I feel I hold a secret so close to me and at the same time I feel like I'm going to drop it. I search for acceptance and normality all the time. Maybe that's too much... Maybe I'll never have that... I want a friend that's like a bro, I want a friend that's like a sister... A group

I want happy times in the sun surrounded by laughs or times spent enjoying movies on the couch. And maybe I don't have that now but hopefully in the future I can.

I always have a billion things running through my head anxieties, thoughts, curiosities, stresses, fears, and feelings. I don't intend or mean to make close friends my psychologists though I can at times I do it which I apologise for.

Why the fuck try to do good by people

Why even bother with people when people can just crush you like a ten ton hammer.

Long 4pm / Burnt Crossiant

Everyday I hear and see racists, bigots, homophobes and others (I'm not naming every type of fuckwit I'll be here forever). Most justify their own actions under "The Old School" and think that's fine. How are you meant to combat such logic or is it just a waste of time arguing. Is changing a mature or just brainwashed young individuals opinion worth the effort or even realistic?

Hat In Time / Neilwing / Botham Locke / Highway Blur

I have amazing fun all day with people then i go to bed and fall apart. All while having anxious thoughts its great but I can't say a thing cos yeah...

Travolta / Cage

I hate that everyday I have to put a face on to appease society. I hate I can't be myself and I live with anxiety that can have warranted reasons sometimes because of how I feel and want to be but if I dare to do something or feel a certain way I'm just wrong or an outlier in society. I just get tired of being fake and feeling so isolated.... Like sure I'm not isolated but I feel that way when I put on the face. I just want to be. But know that's not an option. Sometimes I just want to rant...

The Quiet Place / Dinosaur Carebears

I've been quiet to everyone as I have made the realization that no one gets it so I'll just keep everything to myself as much as I can despite how painful that is. Feel numb, alone, stressed... but I guess thats me a freak.

I've Seen Footage / Stringer Cam

Feeling like no one even knows the tip of the iceberg when it comes to me. Even those that know me well.

Agwa / I'm False and Can't be Full

I hate feeling alone. I get so anxious and worry and worry about people finding out about myself. I think people hate me and I know that's stupid but its how I feel. I must be weak. I feel people grow tired of me and will read this and go oh he's doing that sad bs again.

Fantano / 10/5 / East Walk

Alone I all I do is think I crave company and just go in circles. I feel just isolated

Bed / Bed / Powerline / Bed / Max A Million / "Sir, there's 13 steps on this ladder"

I spend most days feeling very isolated and alone despite who is around me. My heart races every second everytime I hear a certain word or subject and I don't know what to do or who to talk to. I'm at a loss and stressed I spent today watching disney movies trying to think the best of humanity and sleeping and just zoning out along with some cleaning.

I'm hoping all goes well today/tonight im so nervous

Any Colour you like? / yeah right

Hate problems and urges. No motivation and hiding myself kills me

Insecure / Feeling Wrong / Skin

Feel I'll be alone forever. Weirdo, freak, loser, or friend. That's what I feel I'll ever be seen as.

Adidas / red 3

Being different sucks. I wish aspects of life didn't exist. Then maybe I wouldn't worry and feel so low... Constantly thinking about it I think is damaging.

Acceptance When?

I feel so lonely. One day I'll be found in the discount bin

Sorry / Desperate

Most nights I feel so lonely. I often wonder if I was different to how I am if that would help in some way. I feel so left out most days in life. And sorry all the time like I'm wrong.

Nervous / 6500

I should be able to get out of bed earlier than this rather than worry about what people think about what they don't know

Don't even ask

It's days like these that remind me and it sucks