Want to help friends but can't. All I want is to see is smiles on all my close friends faces. It would make so happy to see. Saying that though my opinion of myself says I can't achieve happiness as I don't deserve it as I'm a bad person. I hope day to day that maybe my support is helping my friends but I have no idea. I make it my mission to make my friends feel comfortable and friends feel on edge so I feel like a fuck up.
I don't know how I feel about this. I don't think you should feel responsible for so much, it's not in your control. Very few people have control of things going on, applying blame to yourself won't help much and it certainly won't make you feel better. Life is just like this sometimes. There are highs and there are lows and this is just a bit of a low period for a few people close to you. Wait it out, it'll get better again. It's not something worry will fix, and I for one appreciate your friendship and support. There's no need to be critical of yourself, just try to enjoy the odd positive thing that happens between all the shit. I know it's tough sometimes. Thank you for being there.
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