Rockafella Floyd / Rise & Shine

I've made a lot of changes in the last few months. I managed to open up and be more myself when years ago I'd be too scared to. Manage to build the confidence to create experiences I've always wanted to create to feel on a level I've never felt before around people and friends. I managed to ask  someone out I've had an interest in for a while and though it ended not the way I hoped I managed to hold things together, not end in disaster, & have the ability to hold my head high and know I gave it a shot. I say this alot but I'm sticking to it all I can do is look forward and not get to hung up on things but still learn from my mistakes and know that everyone is a different ball game.

Lonesome Rider - Volbeat feat. Sarah Blackwood - Outlaw Gentlemen & Shady Ladies

Glassworks / Uncle Acid & The Deadbeats

Just pounding my head against a wall trying to make sense of shit GAHHHH want to scream a lot of difference that'll make. Guess I'll eat pizza drown shit out with fat (tl;dr MOANING ABOUT BULLSHIT)

"This life is a gift to be lived and loved" - Mark "Barney" Greenway

When All Is Said & Done - Napalm Death - Smear Campaign

 

When I Read Certain Letters and GET MAD AT MYSELF & "Services"

Ain't That A Bitch / Seventh Wave

Gah want someone to see what I see their value and heart. Most of all strength

"None Of The American Reality Shit...." / Phantom Talking

Behaviour changes around people whether it be romantically, friends, bypassers on the street, mentors.... well you get the picture. But most people talk about this thing called "Games" like it's a bad thing and you know it is but I don't think people realise that the idea of "Games" is something we follow as a social norm and perpecuate because we all want to protect ourselves because everyone is doing the same its all a big circle kinda ironic (I think I know what that means hahaha). I'm playing one now myself despite what I really want to do but its something me and everyone else does to keep life flowing.

People feign emotions or hold back emotions for fear of changing the situation and they'd be right I guess the perfect world doesn't exsist but in a fucked up way that's OK it makes the good so much better. This sounds dark it's not meant to be it's just a perspective I see a lot, I'll admit I see a lot of the negative sometimes which sucks. I'll be blunt feelings negative and even positives (sometimes especially positive) feelings suck so much and can be the source of great pain. Sometimes all I want do is talk and talk and talk to someone but restrain myself due to anxiety and other complicated reasons. Things change for better or for worse key is to accept things and do the best with what you have and if you can change things for the better shoot for it.

Lost In The World - Kanye West feat. Bon Iver - My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy

Fan setting 3 / 403

Taking leaps and bounds in my life some scary as fuck. Anxiety screaming at me telling me to sit back my gut saying do it anxiety is telling me you'll fuck things up and what am I doing...

Maybe I'm over thinking things.

Inception / Fun Cooker

Ideas thrown around creating chaos. Risks thrown about. Things argghhh!

A Break In The Weather NOT! / Drive It Like You Stole It! / Barney

I try to stay optimistic about the world and society we live in then I hear/see people saying such slurs like "Monkey Cunts", "Curry Munchers", & "Slit Eyes". In a serious throw away tone wish such language, abuse didn't exsist but I guess that's a dream world. I can bet if the foot was on the other end these people would be upset and possibly get violent over what they'd hear about themselves but I guess hypocrites don't learn. Or maybe I'm over thinking this maybe people who speak such vile discriminatitive language are just dead shit ignorant bogan cunts (Too Much?). People go around saying that this way of speaking is "Australian" like its patrotic or something they also say if you ask them "Oh I'm not racist its just like a joke thing" yeah... cos that makes your case even better.

This stuff makes me angry it makes no sense to me like I can take it apart but still gets me thinking. I know I'm a hypocrite in a sense writing this as you see above using the word "cunt" to make a point which I apologise if that offends anyone. But I will say I do at times may say the odd slur so I know I can be no better BUT I only do say with close individuals to me and know they are comfortable with it but if they weren't I'd would immediately apologise for my words. That goes for anyone as well people going through a hard situation I may make light of without reason, racism, discrimintaion anything really.

POINT BEING don't a racist prick.

Identity Crisis - Napalm Death - Smear Campaign

 

13th / Keep Talking / Melting Intruder

Some things I don't understand and maybe i never will. Such as the idea of "ALPHA"... like I get it but don't. Some people achieve and misuse/abuse the control/power/bullshit for nothing but there own gain which is quite interesting since if they could observe things usually those who haven't got that position have more power than they realise. People feel the need to swing a hammer to enforce a social environment they wish to create but what they don't understand is that all it does is create a false sense of security that will disappear.

"Cat?" "Kitten.... Cute.... Calm..... False Sense of Security.... Gun.... Die?" - Terry Jefford

People will do despereate things to get what they want socially out of life. I wish people weren't like that.... Anxiety and emotions can be a bitch I guess but some actions deserve a slap or even a bullet or bettter yet maybe more people should learn to apologize and not be shitcunts to be blunt and know others have feelings too WE AREN'T FUCKING ROBOTS.....but I guess that's also a pipedream. Anyway...

 

 The Science Of Imaginary Solutions - Autolux - Transit Transit