I just want to stop crying... stop fighting. I want to ignore everything. Nothings happening and I'm scared I feel like I'm unworthy of anyone in my life. I have no drive for anything. I'm frightened and afraid. I'm strongly opinionated which is a bad combination.
I feel I'm overbearing and dumb getting in people's way. I feel I'm not allowed to feel or speak. I feel I'm going in circles and I've done it before so I should shut up and deal. Here I am crying, nose dripping.... People tell me "I'm awesome" if that's true how come no-one wants to touch me.... I can connect but I physically revolt people.
Last week I laid in bed crying all week. I'm bored I have nothing to do. And nothing interests me. I enjoy people's fuck ups for my gain because I'm a cunt. I know nothing. All I do is cry to people. People talk about relationships and I get weird as I know nothing and never experienced it I feel very small.
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