Offend / Resist

Lonely night off is shit

A.D.I.D.A.S. / Lonerism

Sex leave my mind. Just fuck off.

On Earth / Bulky Ventura

How do people strike the line between fulfilled but without being selfish. I don't know how.

Mumbo No. 5 / Backbone

Feeling as if I'm losing people like something is missing. Like I'm being told what I want to hear. I hate my mind.

עכשיו מעונן / Disconnecting from the Grid

Isolated feeling like life hasn't started. Like a scratched disc. I think I'm too much for people to deal with.

Adlon / Bad Onion

I just want company someone to share time with. I'm a waste.

Everything Waits / "Why take a picture it's already gone"

People can walk away whenever they want no matter how close you are or nice you are. I'm scared of people and barely talk I push through most days. But... my friends I'm scared they all will run away cos I'm selfish and dumb.

Addicted to the Predicted / Silly Hummus

I should've listened to my brain... just not good around people.

Balcony Times / Shock Therapy

I'm excited and anxious about tomorrow. Something I've been putting off for weeks. I'm awkward and worried about my behavior and feelings. I get scared I'll fuck up some social situation or I'll be me and be in everyone's way. I just want a friend...

Never / Lisa / FOTS / Anakie RD / Never

I just want to stop crying... stop fighting. I want to ignore everything. Nothings happening and I'm scared I feel like I'm unworthy of anyone in my life. I have no drive for anything. I'm frightened and afraid. I'm strongly opinionated which is a bad combination.

I feel I'm overbearing and dumb getting in people's way. I feel I'm not allowed to feel or speak. I feel I'm going in circles and I've done it before so I should shut up and deal. Here I am crying, nose dripping.... People tell me "I'm awesome" if that's true how come no-one wants to touch me.... I can connect but I physically revolt people.

Last week I laid in bed crying all week. I'm bored I have nothing to do. And nothing interests me. I enjoy people's fuck ups for my gain because I'm a cunt. I know nothing. All I do is cry to people. People talk about relationships and I get weird as I know nothing and never experienced it I feel very small.

Bored To Death / Null LP

About to sleep thinking about pending boredom for the next 2 days. Wish I wasn't so pathetic.

20 Minutes Snickers / Making Awkward. Good. Yeah?

Sometimes being bisexual is shit.

Monte Crisco / Flying Ambulance Rage!

I don't know what I'm missing... I hear positive things about me said constantly by friends and I don't know how to take it. I generally don't believe them I don't know why....well that's not true some I do.

I also miss a friend I know sometimes she feels replaced but it's so not the case. Love you my friend I miss hanging out.

Fisher family and me / Flesh

I can fake being strong every day to people. I try to be positive saying things that sound silly when I say them to myself. When I'm alone I panic having no idea what to do I get nervous and panic. Questioning things that are my fault. Heart beats crazy I lay still.

Hattie / Idling .5 Cafe

Am I pathetic? I hear anyone bring up sex and start talking down to myself thinking I'm worthless. Feeling left out, because I have no idea can't relate and am upset cos I'm missing out on life. I know that stuff shouldn't be what life is about.... but it's all I want is human contact not necessarily sex (would be nice) but more closeness be in someone's world. I'm doing my best not to be awkward about my thoughts towards topics. I'm a hypocrite I essentially want to fuck but with someone where there is some meaning involved. Feeling alone and empty while telling myself I'm not worth it.

Manticore / Caught In Eclipse / Framus

Feeling dumb. Like I don't understand things. Being the nice guy doesn't mean I'm nice it means I'm a self aware arsehole that worries about his own situation constantly. No wonder I'm everything I say I'm everything I say I am. Here I am again begging things that I can change to change. Feeling like a pathetic helpless being hating life.

AQAA / Alone I Break [7]

Most people know I'll do anything for a friend in any situation even at my own expense I'll try to help. People probably will hate me. The other day things were too much passed out woke up cried for a few hours till I forced myself out to be social. I fall apart alone. I just want to see a smile. And look at myself in the mirror.

God Is An Astronaut / Oppy Pie & Dip

I hate my own company when alone all I do is tell myself how much of a waste I am. Tearing myself down however I can...

This week funeral, appointment relating to my future. Want it to be over before it starts... I really do. I don't know why I'm so harsh on myself the things I tell my self is just mean.

Welcome To The Machine [@] / OM

Most nights I tear my self down saying I'm a waste, someone who doesn't shut up, fat, ugly, pathetic, in the way, destined to be alone, inadequate, a disappointment.

I don't how to change my thought process I honestly believe most of these things. I'm deathly afraid of talking to someone at a desk that involves future...fuck that sounds pathetic... but I really am afraid even of email.

Judgement Day 2005 / Spirit Carries On

Spent the last hour crying over the recent loss of a family friend may she rest in peace. So full of spirit right till the end a great woman. Who will be missed dearly I really do wish her family and friends the best.