Had a down day I did nothing talked to no one was pretty shit. I dunno wishing I could just hang out with someone. Or even chat online I feel restricted, stuck... slept most of it or laid in bed. I have friends but am anxious talking to them sometimes. Some of my thoughts are dark and confronting I get scared they'll disappear. I can't accept compliments my brain can't process it I'll pick it apart for days after its been said.
I wish I could pick up the phone hang out with a friend without constantly questioning what I'm saying, how or where I'm standing or sitting, am I talking to much, am I fun, does this person think I'm interested in them because I'm talking about personal things, if I tell friends I'm not interested in them I don't mean to offend or mean they aren't attractive or a great person, am the cause of stress and problems, wanting to apologize for making friends look at my ugly face and body.
Wish I didn't hide from people and could be happy instead. Putting off things. Feeling I let people down after all I feel like a bad person. I don't feel I deserve attention. My anxiety and loneliness at night is pathetic.
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