Plastic Spider Thingy / Blue Rats (Blue Cheese Mix)

I roll around in a empty house having fun watching things I haven't had a chance to watch due to discomfort in the past I laugh turn to my left to realize I'm by myself. I want just someone to hang out with which I know is hard considering I'm free a lot of the time in times when people are busy even at night just someone I could talk to...sure I have facebook and a housemate that I see a little of the day which is fine she lives her own life and I live mine and I sure as hell don't expect her to hang out with me all the time because that's ridiculous. I want to meet new people its one of the reasons I moved to a new place I just don't know how with everything in my life I've had everything handed to me one way or the other whether it be help emotionally, administratively, or whatever else (not so much financially though I think). I've kind of cut myself off from talking again because I don't want to use people especially my friends as emotional crutches anymore I did it for a while I'd rather keep to myself than be a bother to everyone else in my life. I feel bad for my family especially for my brother aunty dying, direct reconnection, dealing with 2 small siblings as well. There's not a lot I can do except listen every now and again. As I said earlier I'm trying to do things for myself which is going quite well I'm still quite forgetful with things but I'm trying and I hope others see that I'm doing my best. I get teary about things every now and again but am doing my best to be strong. I kinda feel life at the moment is sorta slipping into place I just wouldn't mind someone to hold and enjoy these positive feelings with me I'm in talks with someone at the moment but whether it all happens is another question its one to talk but to act is a different story. I hope all the pieces complete my puzzle shortly I feel like I'm just missing two things friends and a special someone.