I get told not to define myself with relationships and sex... Yet I do which is bad I feel I'm missing out. I feel like I'm in class again while Mrs. McBride is yelling at me "You will never have a girlfriend, girls don't go near Justin" while my mum stands there and agrees and encourages... I feel like back then except you could escape and say girls are icky as a child.
I've always been timid trying to distance myself from my father which is hard when people have always said I'm so much like him in every way. I've always tried to not push people away so I never take chances with my actions as in scared to offend even though i'll do that anyway.
I want sex not for gratification or a tick even though it would be nice I want the closeness between two open individuals I know I'm building things up. But I'd love to hold someone in my arms talk and stuff. Am I the only one that wants this...
I don't know why I stay up so late... I really don't.
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