Southampton Dock

Life, Love, Depression, other stereotypical blogging subjects. All things that bring us highs and lows why must the lows make us crash to the point of being disabled where highs feel like a rush that seem to end like in your skydive it feels like forever when its happening then a sudden stop to grind you to a holt("STEVE HOLT!") , Something will appear that will that will just push the ladder over and make you climb again but with a broken limb. I can say, I've been good this weekend saying no to an invitation that in the past I would say yes too no matter the consequences or emotional pain afterwards. Fuck these feelings go away why do you drag me down I want to be high in spirit not low. Why must I be afraid why can't I just jump......wait for it.......into an opportunity that I want, Why am I scared of the unknown and change.

I think I need to work on my social awkwardness its coming to a point where I think its hindering personal growth and needs urgent attention. But I also wonder if my occupation effects my first impression to the point where even if I gave up my job a girl would never consider me boyfriend material cos I willingly subjected myself to that environment despite knowing the true facts about me like the fact that I am a virgin to most people who meets me shock, and am looking simply for a girl to be in a relationship with that I can hold, listen to, and have fun with.

Way Out Of Here - Porcupine Tree - Fear Of A Blank Planet