Animal Rights / Maths

I sit here feeling like nothing will ever happen to me I get rejected by everyone over and over again. While everyone I know has at least something. I can't even move half the time I just stare thinking about all the things I'm missing in life. I think over and over till something is paid or done I worry I'm being a shit friend to everyone in my life. I go home excited to see my family and they tear me down wherever possible confirming my own negative thoughts. I look around and my mind tells me "why even look it doesn't matter". I over do things as I don't want to be seen as lazy. When I'm alone tears run no matter what the occasion. I wish I had something even if it was fucked up. I'm doing it again playing the victim useless to everyone when I'm like this. I wish I had friends *sigh*...