Crawling / Bumblebee

Yesterday was a step in a sideways direction :/. I went to a party I didn't want to attend why?... because I'd do anything for this person its the first time I've seen them in 3-4 months and what happens I gaze at her with joy and lust..... fuck she's beautiful I just want to be close friends again but instead I go to this place FFS. I start to come down a friend sees me like this and gets worried (I'm alright old friend you are funny, and great to know you care ^_^). Meanwhile someone who must be oblivious to the current situation is interested in spending more time with me to hang out its very, very weird....I said yes don't know how its gonna go. I escape the place of obnoxious ignorant loud footy bogans to drop people off the second they leave my car I did something I haven't been able to do in ages I cry...

Why do I crawl? Why can't I just be close friends like before I just want this whole feelings crap to disappear I miss things not being weird. I'm jealous of everyone's situation I know its bad to compare but it's hard not to.... It's amazing how a lot of people end up like their parents most of the time I hope someone I know doesn't 2 weeks is hardly enough to time to know someone before you move in it's derp and lol.

Celestica - Crystal Castles - Crystal Castles II