Moon Touches Your Shoulder / The Camera Eye

Today was strange don't know how to feel I took steps on my own after a early depressive episode you know the usual eventually pushing myself out of bed.... I did what I had to do for the day thoughts swirling but not as loud, I wish my counseling wasn't cancelled but it was and moved till Friday not much I can do about that. I tried really hard to approach people such as family and close friends about my situation I just....can't I don't know why either I know they will understand and treat me right but.... I'm scared.

I'm so worried about my future will I float around forever not making anything of myself?... probably I'm not good at anything except listening intently be it to music for hours (oh the amount I dream that could be my job...) or to people (not really a job unless you have advice to back it up and I don't know a thing). So yeah future strip club manager yeah?......oh god kill me....

A friend feeling down I want to help you as much as you want to help me you know that I just can't at the moment (well not in person anyway) in the future yes, if you read this I'm thinking of you my friend I promise I'll get there soon and we can hang like good old times like in town we could even go to "Dick Smith" (or just past it). Don't feel too bad for me I'll get there it was never just you its a large combination of things it was kind of a great thing you made me hit this point I have to face this sooner or later.

At the moment I sit in limbo trying to even know how I feel towards life and love and to be honest I have no idea either way... kinda blank and lifeless today itself was just time ticking me staring at a clock waiting for it to end I don't know why it wasn't even that bad... I know that sounds strange but I'm being honest.

Sooner Or Later - Breaking Benjamin - We Are Not Alone