The Gentle Art Of Making Enemies - Faith No More - King For A Day. Fool For A Lifetime
Tuesday, 21 February 2012
Analogue Bubblebath 1 / Alone, I Play
Hmmmm... I have things to do. Last few days I feel like I rely on one person. I just sit at home alone while people are out just waiting for people to return hearing news of movies on and such and me with no plans at all just me and paperwork and feeling self conscious. I wish I could be friends and not being known as an associate in most peoples eyes sure I'm close friends with them but why am I being punished its so childish. Feels like 7 months ago all over again talk, talk then silence. I feel like crying I'm being strong right now on some level I'm being so selfish about things I know I just.... I don't know I try not to think of things in certain ways because it makes me worse but sometimes it's difficult I'm in high spirits well sometimes it's harder than others to stay feeling positive especially when you know there's very few to talk to or if you do will they tell everyone what you said all just a cycle I guess I'm afraid more than ever to talk about things. Feel a little embarrassed so I'll remain silent no one seems to want to hear from me unless I'm in pain. Hate feeling like myself is the only one I can talk to (I'm not crazy I swear :/)
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I'm sorry you feel that way, but I'm sure it's temporary. Things will calm down for you in that group and if they don't for me I don't really care. Plus, there are always other people. I'm always here to listen, regardless of the sort of news you have and hey, you're going out tonight ;) You're not alone and people aren't punishing you, they are just dealing with their own issues from what I can tell :) Hope fully you're finally getting some sleep and I'll see you around noon :)
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