Street Carp / Three for Flinching (Revenge of the Porno Clowns)

Last few days I've been strangely just constantly exhausted I type this with eyes half dead. I'm currently in a difficult position where 3 of my closest friends are in an all out brawl (well a mudslinging match all one sided) but it seems it. I feel a tad responsible to be honest even though it's not my fault in a way considering it was my event, my guidelines, my fault for not being able to stand up for myself too. I thank my friend for standing up for me I really do. Its hard to explain all of the situation without writing all of it and everything I'm not discussing the dynamics of our social group or naming names those involved know. I write things here and those who read this I trust mostly not to post publicly. As for the business "oh everyone knows about your depression & anxiety problems" hmmmm I suppose that gives you the right to start a huge public statement about me having it and start a huge discussion. I don't intend to use this post to drag up this business again I am aware that sounds very hypocritical of me and I guess I and others I know can be at times as well. This has just continued based on dominance & insecurities in my opinion some don't want situations to change from what I can tell some in my opinion are never destined to get along in my opinion as well.

I also recently have begun a new form of communication with some one who I'm afraid to reply too and I don't know why. I have so much to do at the moment and have no drive to do most of it I will get around to doing them one task at a time that's how I'm going to do things again. I lay thinking lusting for closeness thinking I'm awkward like if a girl turned around to me and said lets go sort of thing I think I'd freeze... everything I say is talk and I do a stupid comparisons saying she's no blah blah...gah someone I can't even reply with a simple voice message I wish I could handle my lack of love life better without getting sad. Why am I tired all the time... Am I crazy for feeling empty and unfulfilled.

Hanging with friends are awkward with everything happening especially everything being so close I just want to reset everyone's memories... I know I can't and stuff.

Setting Fire To Sleeping Giants - The Dillinger Escape Plan - Miss Machine