Cry, work, cry, work it's all I've been doing wipe away tears tell people I'm tired can't take a night off money is tight I just want to go home hug some pillows stay there away from annoying everyone lay motionless in my room in darkness. I give up chasing entertainment I can't find anything when i find something, something will block it or create more stress to suck out the fun. Always bored, always crying. Fuck up on stage in front of everyone I laugh it off then break down later. I fuck everything up I'm way to sensitive and anxcious to function. I just push everyone away writing this I'm seeking attention dont give it to me I'm not worth your time. Everyone has problems I'm just selfish. I keep imagining fucked scenarios have crazy dreams while sleeping at night wake up exhausted and tense I write hear because I'm scared people will just tell me to fuck off would people honestly care if I was just gone like overseas, dead, in a coma probably not I'm a footnote go to a party I'm not alpha im not the loser or the weirdo I'm the guy that is just expected to be there if I wasn't it would be oh well no big deal. I try to please everyone when I try I get told I'm wrong or I fucked it up all I always seek approval from people I get excited about small things since nothing much else happens I tell others hey look what I found or i just did this people just go "wow" sarcastically cutting me down to feeling like a child me being touchy and sensitive I just insult myself jokingly and carry on. I go on about wanting a girlfriend but who'd want to be with this im playing my favourite role the victim I cry the second I'm left alone I walk like a zombie scared to open my mouth as ill offend or just plain make an embarassment out of myself. Push people away with my petty complaints. Ill stop now sorry for wasting everyones time thats all I do.
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