A Poor Man's Memory / Sea Incertain

Today something I've been brushing over and don't want to admit I realized has gotten worse and is effecting interaction everyday making me look like an idiot. My memory is getting bad I'm forgetting details and people are starting pick up and I feel like an idiot its frustrating and makes me look like a bad listener I'd like people to know I do listen to them sorry if I forget small details of important things don't think I haven't been paying attention because I do. I've felt kind of down and tried to take my mind off things that roll around in my head so I go out of my way to talk about it make jokes....*sigh* that'll work yeah.... here I go being all depressed about the same shit that I talked about every week at least once its a subject I'm curious about its all such a mystery to me I know people say what do you mean its everywhere....it is everywhere and makes me feel stupid when I ask a question and people go "What are you stupid?" and laugh thinking I'm joking. All I think in my head is I just wanted an explanation I sound like I'm half joking and I'm aware I may sound retarded to everyone else but I come to some sort of asking for facts or their opinions on things not for necessarily answers some I do ask are good about it some are condescending and just make me inadequate about it. I know I focus on this a lot and anything I say is an excuse for my own inaction and I'm playing a victim again its all bullshit rumination can be a cunt always swimming in circles all my fault even speaking about I sound bad. I hate this memory thing I'm experiencing at the moment its just shit why has it appeared I wasn't always like this I'm usually quite good even my music facts is lacking and I'm usually epic at that. All this crap at once can sometimes just beats me down into the ground(screaming some sound). I worry about finances as well as everything else in my life like how my current image looks I think is just looking pathetic.

Technologic - Daft Punk - Human After All