Thoughts of a Dying Atheist / DFA

I feel jealous of others experiences like I'm not good enough to have anything like they state. I'm anxious towards calling my mother since I sent her a harsh but very true message she has tried contacting me to which I responded not now I have things to do I know she'll be cool with things I'm just uncomfortable towards talking with her I guess. I'm not crying today but I do feel very tense like things just won't end. I am jealous of others in all departments despite that I think I'm holding myself together quite well today just wish my body would settle down its so tight chest feels like I'm having a heart attack in a quiet relaxed room.

Sing For Absolution - Muse - Absolution