i / I Am The Thorn / A Pocketful Of Stones

Today my chest has been tight as shit been so uncomfortable and anxious thinking everyone has a problem with me and to be honest I don't know if people just with stand me or not or find me annoying at the moment. Went to the doctors and I fucked it up because I forgot details of course memory loss is great. I currently live with a nice girl who I could see being friends with but not living with she is slowly getting on mine and others nerves. I myself am paranoid that people don't like me at the moment anxiety last few days have been really high such as a constant panic attack today which was fun I love feeling like my body is having a fit constantly its my favourite. On the plus side I've managed to slowly down play sex jokes still let some slip but I was a little better today I think. I want to find answers for myself I know its a long process I try to stop myself from repeating cycles that keep me down I'm going to book a counseling appointment tomorrow. At least I have honest friends sure sometimes their honesty can upset me sometimes for a while but I know they are trying to help me at the end of the day. I'd like to apologize for any inappropriate behavior in the last few days I was childish trying to cope with my own shit but that's no excuse for my behavior.

In This Twilight - Nine Inch Nails - Year Zero